


The Hive Group Chat

by MiraculousPyro



Series: The Bee's Knees [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bee Chloé Bourgeois | Queen Bee, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, Chloé Bourgeois's Queen Bee Identity is Secret, Crack, Croissant smuggling, Darn you cant have 2 of the same tag, Episode: s02 Queen Wasp (Queen's Battle Part 2), F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Good Chloé Bourgeois, I'm Bad At Tagging, Ima put the crack tag again, Kissing, Miraculous Holder Chloé Bourgeois, Roasting Chat Noir, Texting, more crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculousPyro/pseuds/MiraculousPyro
Summary: A group chat fic that runs parallel to my other fic The Bee's Redemption.There will be crackSplits from cannon at Queen Wasp
Relationships: Adrien Agreste & Chloé Bourgeois & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois/Kagami Tsurugi, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant
Series: The Bee's Knees [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749241
Comments: 7
Kudos: 144





	1. Queen Wasp

**Author's Note:**

> This group chat fic runs parallel to The Bee's Redemption. If you haven't read the first chapter of that don't read this 
> 
> Or you can, I don't care, it just won't make much sence 
> 
> Audrey is a bitch

**2:47pm**

{ **Chloé's IPhone** has successfully paired with ***bee miraculous*** }

{ ***unnamed bee hero*** has created the group **-unnamed group-** } 

***unnamed bee hero*:** what is this

 ***unnamed bee hero*:** some kind of texting app for heroes 

***unnamed bee hero*:** hello? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** anybody here? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** this is lame nobody else is here 

{ ***unnamed bee hero*** has deleted group **-unnamed group-** } 

**_________________________**

**3:07pm**

**Marinette**

hey so ladybug dropped a miraculous 2day and chloe found it 

I was thinking u could make a post on the ladyblog about so ladybug can come get it

**Alya**

hold up 

chloe has it? 

**Marinette **

no

i got it after adrien's dad snached it from her 

**Alya**

??? 

why would gabriel snatch it 

**Marinette **

u remember the collector? 

how he had lost his book of inspiration or whatever 

**Alya **

ya… 

**Marinette **

the book had a bunch of pictures of superheros 

he apparently recognised the symbol on the box from the book 

**Alya **

how do u know whats in the book 

**Marinette**

oh uh 

i took it from adrien thinking it was like a collection of pictures of him 

**Alya**

omg girl

you are hopeless

**Marinette **

so.. about the miraculous i have rn? 

**Alya**

oh ya

come on over so i can get some pictures 

**________________________**

**6:23pm**

{ ***unnamed bee hero*** has created group **-still a hero-** }

 ***unnamed bee hero*:** this magic texting app is still here? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** i dont even have the miraculous anymore 

***unnamed bee hero*:** oh i can add people

{ ***unnamed bee hero*** has added **Ladybug** to group **-still a hero-** }

 ***unnamed bee hero*:** omg ladybug? 

**Ladybug:** what is this? 

**Ladybug:** is that u chloe? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** um… yes 

**Ladybug:** how r u messaging me without a miraculous? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** the miraculous like magicly synced with my phone back when i still had it

 ***unnamed bee hero*:** and the app it created on my phone is still here

 ***unnamed bee hero*:** so…. 

**Ladybug:** thats… interesting i didnt know it could do that

 **Ladybug:** let me try

{ **[censored name]'s IPhone** has successfully paired with ***ladybug miraculous*** } 

**Ladybug:** OH SHIT IT JUST SAID MY NAME! 

***unnamed bee hero*:** it says [censored name] for me

 **Ladybug:** oh thank god

 **Ladybug:** one sec chat wants in on thisthing 

{ **Ladybug** has added **Chat Noir** to group **-still a hero-** } 

**Chat Noir:** Thank you, M'lady. 

***unnamed bee hero*:** oh god 

**Ladybug:** whats wrong

 **Chat Noir:** Are you okay? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** chat noir used full grammer when texting 

**Ladybug:** i know its weirs but you get used to it 

***unnamed bee hero*:** weirs 

**Ladybug:** stfu

 **Chat Noir:** What's wrong with using correct grammar? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** omfg plz stop 

***unnamed bee hero*:** you text like an old person

 ***unnamed bee hero*:** ladybug bring him to my room and ill give him a lesson about how to text properly 

**Ladybug:** will do 

**Chat Noir:** My texting is fine. My father taught me to idbdvjdyvdck

 **Ladybug:** i stole his stick so he would stop texting 

***unnamed bee hero*:** lol 

***unnamed bee hero*:** im gunna add turtle boy and fox girl to this thing 

{ ***unnamed bee hero*** has added **Rena Rouge** to group **-still a hero-** } 

{ ***unnamed bee hero*** has added **Carapace** to group **-still a hero-** } 

**Ladybug:** we have arrived 

**__________________________**

**9:46pm**

**Adrien**

Are you on your way to New York now? 

**Marinette**

im not going 

**Adrien**

What? Why? 

**Marinette **

i didnt want to work with audrey 

shes a bitch 

**Adrien**

Marinette! 

Language! 

**Marinette **

i dont want to work with a person who treats people like that 

she cant even remember her own daughter's name

i dont want to work with somebody like that 

**Adrien**

So you just stood up one of the most powerful people in the fashion industry? 

**Marinette **

It will most likely bit me in the ass later 

but it wont matter if you model for me

**Adrien**

I'll model whatever you want me to. 

**Marinette**

:) 

**Adrien**

:-) 

**Marinette**

oh god you put noses on them 

**Adrien**

What's wrong with noses? 

**Marinette **

everything

everything is wrong with nosrs

**Adrien **

Nosrs 

**Marinette**

>:( 

no croissants for a week

**Adrien **

D: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only the start. 
> 
> The chapters for this one may be kind of short but I will try to extend them 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed


	2. Queen Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chaper goes allong with the Malediktator chaper from the other fic in the series, hut instead of actiom and feels its texting and crack

**1 week ago**

**12:13 pm**

[Group Chat  **-still a hero-** ]

***unnamed bee hero*:** hey ladybug 

**Ladybug:** wha u want? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** u 

**Ladybug:** :o 

**Ladybug:** chloe u know im into guys 

**Ladybug:** mostly ;)

***unnamed bee hero*:** LMAO NOOOOOO

**Chat Noir:** What was that all about M'lady? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** olp people texting! 

**Ladybug:** old people texting 

**Chat Noir:** olp people

***unnamed bee hero*:** i will remove you

***unnamed bee hero*:** then snatch Ladybug all for myself ;)

**Ladybug:** lmao but please dont we need him 

***unnamed bee hero*:** you could always fire him and bring me in as Chaton Sexy 

**Chat Noir:** hdndicbckdjdnwlxodbmdco ls ckzvsfndkc s xiye r7eb f 

**Chat Noir:** please dont mlady im useful

**Ladybug:** ill think about it 

**Ladybug:** but what do u need me for chlo? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** i am doing a assessment about a famous person in french history or whatever 

***unnamed bee hero*:** i didnt research so i just wana do an interview with u. 

**Ladybug:** alright sounds cool 

**Chat Noir:** this sounds like a bad idea. 

**Chat Noir:** also am i invited? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** 1 nobody asked for your opinion

***unnamed bee hero*:** 2 no youre not important enough 

**Ladybug:** damn thats harsh. 

**Chat Noir:** why am i even here? Im just roasted 24/7 

***unnamed bee hero*:** thats why your here 

***unnamed bee hero*:** to get roasted. 

**Chat Noir:** D:

**_________________**

**2:36pm**

[Direct message between  ***unnamed bee hero*** and  **Ladybug** ]

**Ladybug:** r you ok chlo? 

**Ladybug:** i heard about what happened in ur class 2day 

***unnamed bee hero*:** no 

***unnamed bee hero*:** i hate my life 

**Ladybug:** dont say that! 

**Ladybug:** why do you hate your life?

***unnamed bee hero*:** nobody likes me 

***unnamed bee hero*:** i dont have any real friends and my entire class hates me 

**Ladybug:** bitch!

***unnamed bee hero*:** ???

**Ladybug:** u dont have any real friends?

**Ladybug:** the hell am i then? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** im sry, i have one real friend 

**Ladybug:** and dont forget about sabrina 

**Ladybug:** that girl woyld die for you 

***unnamed bee hero*:** ya she  woyld

**Ladybug:** >:( 

***unnamed bee hero*:** (:<

**Ladybug:** also 

**Ladybug:** did you hear what Alya said about my boobs? 

**Ladybug:** bitch my boobs are plenty big 

***unnamed bee hero*:** nchdhdbci lmao 

**Ladybug:** i mean, bitch has a blog devoted to be and she insults me? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** but she has a point 

***unnamed bee hero*:** u are kinda flat 

**Ladybug:** BITCH IM TRYING TO COMFORT YOU 

**Ladybug:** AND YOU INSULT ME? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** what?

***unnamed bee hero*:** flat is justice

**Ladybug:** if i wasnt in school i would come over there and give yiu some justice

***unnamed bee hero*:** please do ;)

**Ladybug:** BITCH IM ANGRY BOW DONT FLIRT WITH ME! 

***unnamed bee hero*:** angry bow 

**Ladybug:** im telling adrien ur bullying me 

***unnamed bee hero*:** omg please dont he would disown me 

***unnamed bee hero*:** did you hear what ue said about your boobs 

**Ladybug:** omg dont remind me 

**Ladybug:** its embarrassing

***unnamed bee hero*:** dude said your boob size looked right to him

***unnamed bee hero*:** somebody asked if he spent alot of time looking at your boobs

***unnamed bee hero*:** boi started blushing harder than a tomato

***unnamed bee hero*:** it was the funniest thing

***unnamed bee hero*:** … 

***unnamed bee hero*:** ladybug? 

**Ladybug:** u done? 

**Ladybug:** i never wanted to think about that again 

**Ladybug:** as soon as i learned about that fact i wanted to die

**Ladybug:** Its so embarrassing 

**Ladybug:** The guy i have a crush on has me as his background picture 

***unnamed bee hero*:** HOLD UP! 

**Ladybug:** ??? 

***unnamed bee hero*:** u have a crush on Adrien Agreste? 

**Ladybug:** ah shit 

{ **Ladybug** deleted one message}

***unnamed bee hero*:** i already saw it bitch 

***unnamed bee hero*:** now speak

**Ladybug:** oh no, class is over o gotta go eat lunch

**Ladybug:** Bye chlo 

***unnamed bee hero*:** GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD

***unnamed bee hero*:** SPEAK BITCH 

**______________________**

**3:07pm**

**Adrien **

U good chlo? 

Please dont get akumatised

**Adrien**

Chlo please respond 

**Chloé**

I wont get akumatised 

Dont worry 

I was just texting another friend. 

**Adrien**

Oh good 

R u ok

**Chloé**

Hold up 

When did you start texting like a normal person

**Adrien**

??? 

Oh 

A friend pointed it out and i used the internet to look up how people normally text. 

**Chloé**

Omg 

U googled how to text 

Im dying

**Adrien **

I am a sheltered boy

I need esucation of the real world 

**Chloé**

Ah yes 

Esucation 

The best learning

**Adrien**

Thats mean 

Dont make mun of mt mistakes 

**Chloé **

Ok ill make mun of mt own mistakes 

**Adrien **

>:(

Stop or i wont sneak you any more croissants that mari gives me 

**Chloé**

U wouldnt dare 

**Adrien **

I will eat them all 

Even the chocolate ones 

**Chloé **

Gasp 

How dare you 

**Adrien **

And if i do have extras

Ill give them to gorilla 

**Chloé **

Adrien llease 

I need the croissants 

Dont do this to me 

**Adrien **

Im eating a delicious dupain-cheng pastry right now 

Yum yum yum 

**Chloé **

How dare you 

Im almost tempted to come back to school to steal them 

**Chloé **

Wait… 

Are they croissants tho? 

**Adrien**

… no

I've lost my croissant privlages 

**Chloé **

Omg 

Why 

**Adrien**

I made fun of mari's texting mistakes 

**Chloé**

I would say u deserve it 

But this affects me as well so… 

Hmmmm.. 

**Adrien **

You could literally buy infinite chocolate croissants with your money 

Why does this affect you? 

**Chloé **

Idk it's like

The ones that bakerbrat gives you are better than the ones the bakery sells 

**Adrien **

Their probably just fresher 

Idk

**Chloé **

No I've had fresh croissants 

They pale in comparison to the ones you smuggle me 

**Adrien **

Idk 

Maybe my hair is magical and makes food taste better 

**Chloé **

Ok Rapunzel, whatever u say

**Adrien**

??? 

Who's Rapunzel? 

**Chloé **

Omg 

You've never seen Tangled? 

**Adrien **

No….. 

**Chloe**

Omg we are watching that 

Bring all your friends I don't care 

U need so see it 

**Adrien**

Ok ill talk about it with everyone 

I gtg chlo 

Cya later 

**Chloé **

Bye adrikins 

**___________________**

**3:26pm**

[Group Chat  **-still a hero-** ] 

***unnamed bee hero*:** um ladybug 

***unnamed bee hero*:** my father was just akumatised 

***unnamed bee hero*:** thought I should let you know 

**_______________________**

**8:26pm**

[Group Chat  **-still a hero-** ] 

**{*unnamed bee hero*** has changed her name to  **Queen Bee** } 

**Queen Bee:** buzz buzz bitches 

**Queen Bee:** ima real hero now 

**Chat Noir:** yall abandoned me after the fight 

**Chat Noir:** i didnt even get a fist bump

**Ladybug:** im so proud queenie 

**Ladybug:** but we do need some rules foe this chat

**Queen Bee:** boooooo 

**Queen Bee:** rules are for losers 

**Ladybug:** silence 

**Ladybug:** theres only one rule 

**Ladybug:** no talking about secret identities or anything that could expose you 

**Ladybug:** unless your like really depressed and have nobody else to talk to 

**Ladybug:** then u can talk all u want 

**Queen Bee:** but i wana know who u are so i can snuggle with u at night 

**Ladybug:** hmmm i may take you up on that offer 

**Chat Noir:** nooooo

**Chat Noir:** the only one allowed to snuggle with mlady is her kitty 

**Ladybug:** I will cuddle with my bug sister all i want and you cant stop me

**Queen Bee:** aw 

**Queen Bee:** ily too sis 

**Chat Noir:** wait 

**Chat Noir:** u two are sisters? 

**Ladybug:** not by blood 

**Ladybug:** But in our hearts 

**Queen Bee:** btw 

**Queen Bee:** couldnt help but notice that fox girl and turtle boy have never been in this chat

**Queen Bee:** i mean i added them 

**Queen Bee:** they have never even looked at this chat 

**Ladybug:** Oh, i havnt given them their miraculous since you made this chat

**Ladybug:** So theyve never had a chance tk sync their phones to their miraculous 

**Chat Noir:** sync phones? 

**Queen Bee:** you can sync your phones to miraculous and get the texting app on your phone 

**Queen Bee:** so u can text out of costume 

**Queen Bee:** how did you think i was texting you all this time? 

**Chat Noir:** ... 

**Chat Noir:** i didn't really think about it too hard 

**Ladybug:** It would have hurt his brain to think that hard 

**Chat Noir:** mlady! Thats mean 

**Queen Bee:** just sync your phone already

{ **[censored name]'s IPhone** has successfully paired with  ***black cat miraculous*** } 

**Chat Noir:** oh it said my name 

**Chat Noir:** too bad 

**Chat Noir:** now u know m identity

**Ladybug:** nice try kitty but it censored your name 

**Chat Noir:** … 

**Queen Bee:** he just wants some love 

**Queen Bee:** be at least a little sympathetic 

**Ladybug:** I dont want to hear that from you 

**Queen Bee:** D: 

**Queen Bee:** im the nicest person youll ever mert 

**Chat Noir:** mert 

**Ladybug:** mert 

**Queen Bee:** yall are mean 

**Ladybug:** Omg she said yall 

**Ladybug:** im dying

**Chat Noir:** icgrbaovfn4 c 

**Chat Noir:** vdowvxuebnc

**Ladybug:** u good chat? 

**Ladybug:** hello? 

**Chat Noir:** omg i fell off the rooftops adter reading that 

**Chat Noir:** i laying in an ally rn with a dog licking my foot 

**Queen Bee:** i hate you guys 

**Queen Bee:** chat said yall earlier and you didnt laugh 

**Ladybug:** chat saying it is normal 

**Ladybug:** u saying it hilarious 

**Queen Bee:** it wasnt even tbat funny 

**Ladybug:** But it was tbat funny 

**Chat Noir:** definently tbat funny 

**Queen Bee:** >:(

**Queen Bee:** stfu 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have fun writing these and i hope yall enjoy reading them 
> 
> Rena Rouge and Carapace will apear soon and more heros will be added in as they appear


	3. Frozer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rena Rouge enters the chat, finnaly! Talk of Frozer stuff and a bit of crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So new group chat with the girl's in it is here now
> 
> Names  
> Mari - Bread&Butter  
> Alya - HatTheif  
> Alix - Spray n' Skate  
> Juleka - TheGothGay  
> Rose - FlowerGay  
> Mylene - SisterEarth  
> Chloé - TheDevil
> 
> Also i turned tbe Julerose up to 8 in this chaper so be warned

**1 week ago**

**12:42am**

[Group Chat **-still a hero-** ]

**Queen Bee:** akuma at the hotel 

**Ladybug:** good thing im awake 

**Queen Bee:** why r u awake?

**Ladybug:** Im sewing

**Ladybug:** call chat for me 

**Queen Bee:** already on it 

**Chat Noir:** ok im awake 

**Chat Noir:** getting 7 calls at midnight is not a great way to wake up 

**Ladybug:** akuma lets go 

**Chat Noir:** omw 

**1:04am**

**Ladybug:** u ok queen? 

**Queen Bee:** im good as new after the miraculous cure 

**Queen Bee:** but damn getting your leg broken hurts 

**Chat Noir:** that akuma was particularly violent 

**Chat Noir:** he was most likely drunk when he got akumatised

**Ladybug:** drunk akumas are the worst ones

**Ladybug:** their emotions become crazy fragile and are easy prey for hawkmoth

**Queen Bee:** hawkbitch more like 

**Queen Bee:** coward wont even fight us himself 

**Chat Noir:** he has akumatised half of paris and weve never seen him in person 

**Ladybug:** the lowest of the low

**Queen Bee:** we should all go to bed now 

**Chat Noir:** you know its a weird day when queen is the voice of reason 

**Queen Bee:** stfu 

**Queen Bee:** gnight 

**Ladybug:** gnight 

**Chat Noir:** gnight 

**______________________**

**4 days ago**

**10:26am**

[Group Chat **-still a hero-** ] 

**Queen Bee:** i just realised that this chat name is stupid 

**Queen Bee:** so im changing it 

{ **Queen Bee** has changed group name to **Defenders of Paris** } 

**Queen Bee:** much better 

**Ladybug:** stfu Im in class 

**Ladybug:** and so are you 

**Queen Bee:** btw when are you going to give foxy girl and turtle boi their miraculous so they can get in here 

**Ladybug:** I'll make sure tl get them in here the next time they get their miraculous 

**Ladybug:** but right now shut up im trying 2 learn 

**Queen Bee:** lmao ladubug is a nerd 

**12:34pm**

**Chat Noir:** akuma at Françoise Dupont

**Queen Bee:** sry my fault 

**Queen Bee:** but i wasnt being mean or anything 

**Queen Bee:** this guy asked me out during lunch and i said no 

**Queen Bee:** and that i wasnt into guys 

**Queen Bee:** like bitch im sorru for being gay 

**Queen Bee:** oh yall are fighting 

**Ladybug:** i need to go get rena rouge 

**Ladybug:** Ill be right back 

**Chat Noir:** be quick mlady 

**Chat Noir:** i dont know how long i can hold him on my own 

**11:57am**

**Ladybug:** Holy shit that guy was tough 

**Rena Rouge:** what is this

**Queen Bee:** this is the chat room for the heros of paris 

**Rena Rouge:** why is queen bee here when i want aware of this? 

**Queen Bee:** cause i discovered it

**Rena Rouge:** does this mean u have your miraculous

**Queen Bee:** no 

**Queen Bee:** u can also sync your phone to your miraculous so yiu can type in here out of transformation 

**Rena Rouge:** omg what

{ **[censored name]'s IPhone** has successfully paired with ***fox miraculous*** }

**Rena Rouge:** please tell me my name was censored on your ends 

**Ladybug:** names are automatically censored

**Ladybug:** dont worry about it. 

**Rena Rouge:** so how long has this chat existed? 

**Queen Bee:** about a month i think 

**Queen Bee:** i made it after i first got my miraculous 

**Chat Noir:** its anarchy 

**Ladybug:** there is one rule

**Ladybug:** no talking about identity stuff 

**Rena Rouge:** thats no fun 

**Rena Rouge:** I wana know whos behind that leather cat suit

**Chat Noir:** what if i told you i was the supermodel adrian agrest 

**Rena Rouge:** i would say you misspelled his name so you cant possibly be him 

**Ladybug:** Also ur not hot enough 

**Queen Bee:** hes too kind to be you 

**Chat Noir:** ...

**Chat Noir:** meowch 

**Rena Rouge:** lmao 

**Rena Rouge:** btw when we adding Carapace? 

**Queen Bee:** i mean he is technecly added 

**Queen Bee:** hes just not here

**Ladybug:** hell be here next time he gets his miraculous. 

**Ladybug:** btw rena ima need your miraculous back 

**Rena Rouge:** oh ya that 

**Rena Rouge:** where shoudl i meet u at 

**Ladybug:** im right behind u 

**Rena Rouge:** jsbebcidvdb 

**Queen Bee:** i think lb jist assaulted rena 

**Queen Bee:** she will never be a bride now

**Chat Noir:** ??? 

**Chat Noir:** i dont understand 

**Chat Noir:** y wont she be a bride now?

**Ladybug:** OMG NOOOOOO 

**Ladybug:** Lmao she just fell off the foof 

**Queen Bee:** im just saying, it sounded suspicious 

**Chat Noir:** why is it suspicious? 

**Rena Rouge:** omg hes so pure 

**Ladybug:** rule number two, dont corrupt out kitty 

**Queen Bee:** damn a second rule? 

**Queen Bee:** this chat is falling apart

**Rena Rouge:** i join and everything breaks 

**Ladybug:** heros are suppost to be all about following rules 

**Rena Rouge:** deadpool 

**Ladybug:** hes an antihero doesnt count

**Queen Bee:** guess im an antihero then 

**Ladybug:** know what

**Ladybug:** forget u guys 

**Ladybug:** im going back 2 class

**Rena Rouge:** oh ya 

**Rena Rouge:** i gotta get back to class to 

**Chat Noir:** same 

**Queen Bee:** i would just not go back in the name of anarchy 

**Queen Bee:** but like i need to pass 

**Queen Bee:** so class time 

**_____________________**

**2 days ago**

**8:26am**

-Group Chat-

**Bread &Butter**

Guys i just did something dumb

** Spray n' Skate **

What u do

** HatThief  **

Girl if this has to do with adrien im disowning u

**Bread &Butter**

Adriem asked me for advice for how to get closer to another girl

I told him to take her to the ice rink but he was embarased to go with her alone 

So i offered to go with them

**HatThief**

Disowned

**TheGayGoth**

Wtf mari

**FlowerGay**

NUUUUUUUUUUU

** Spray n' Skate **

Mari

Ur an idiot 

**Bread &Butter**

I know

Now what do i do

**TheGothGay**

We could poison the other girl so she cant go 

Thats cool 

**FlowerGay**

Oooooh 

I have poison! 

**HatThief**

… 

Why tf does rose have poison

**TheGothGay**

We cant tell u 

We would have 2 kill u 

**SisterEarth**

The last person who made fun of the relationship ended up in the hosbital

** Spray n' Skate **

RIP homosexuals 

**HatThief**

Why have i never heard this story

**Bread &Butter**

We dony wana get our favorite lesbians arrested

**Spray n' Skate**

No we dony 

**Bread &Butter**

Dont make fun of my spelling errors 

Or youll find yourself pastryless 

**HatThief**

Dont doubt her 

Adrien once went croissants for a week

And shes in love with him

**Spray n' Skate**

Omg im sorry

Dont deny me da macaroons 

**SisterEarth**

arent we here to discus mari's screw up

Not make pastry threats

**HatThief**

Shes right 

But class is about 2 start 

**TheGothGay**

Lets meet after school at my place

**Bread &Butter**

Sounds good 

Ill just panic all day until then 

**Spray n' Skate**

I dont have anything 2 do so im in 

**FlowerGay **

I was planning to be there anyways

**SisterEarth**

I have dinner plans with ivan but i should be able 2 be there before then 

**HatThief**

Alright after school it is

**_______________________**

**2 days ago**

**11:36am**

**Chloé **

Hey bro whatsup

**Adrien**

… 

Bro? 

Chlo r u ok

Was ur phone stolen

**Chloé **

BITCH

I can try new things sometimes

Plus we are basicly siblings

**Adrien**

No 

Just no

**Chloé**

Fine

How was ur day? 

**Adrien **

Who r u

And what have u done with my sister

**Chloé **

HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH ME LIKE THIS

you wound me brother

**Adrien **

Im not ur brother

Now what have u done with my sister

**Chloé **

-_- 

Why

**Adrien**

XD

Its funny

Anyways my day was good

Im going to the ice rink this weekend

**Chloé **

Y the ice rink

**Adrien**

I asked Mari for advice about a girl and she said i should go to the ice rink with her

Also i mentioned that i would feel awkward alone with this girl

So she offered to come with

**Chloé **

Omfg 

Please tell me this is a joke 

**Adrien**

??? 

Its not 

**Chloé **

Omg why

Ur going to give me a migraine

**Adrien**

????? 

Um why?

What did i do? 

**Chloé **

Nothing

I gtg 

**Adrien**

Um ok… 

Bye

**_______________________**

**2 days ago**

**11:43am**

**Chloé**

Find out where Marinette's group is friend meeting after school 

**Sabrina**

On it! 

**12:47pm**

**Sabrina**

There meeting on the liberty boat were juleka lives after school

**Chloé **

Good job. 

**_______________________**

**Today**

**11:12am**

-Group Chat- 

- **Chloé** has been added to the group-

**HatThief**

Ok rose and Juleka

R u at the ice rink? 

**TheGothGay**

Yup hiding in the bathroom with the makeup 

**FlowerGay**

Were gunna have some fun before anybody else arrives 

**TheGothGay**

OMG ROSE STOP

DONT ANNOUNCE IT

**Spray n' Skate**

Yall are together 

Stop texting and talk

**HatThief**

Ill be over soon with the outfit

- **Chloé** has changed her name to **TheDevil** -

**Spray n' Skate**

Accurate tho

**TheDevil**

Stfu 

Im with mari in front of the rink 

Neither adrien or kagami have showed up yet 

**Spray n' Skate**

Hold tf up 

Since when is chloe calling her mari 

**TheDevil**

Since typing Dupain-Cheng is long and annoying

Oh Kagami just arrived

Oh she cute

**HatThief**

Im outside of the bathrooms 

Julerose is going on full force in there so ima stay outside 

**Spray n' Skate**

Omg

They doin it in a public bathroom

**HatThief**

I mean theyre not _doing it_ but they are making out pretty hard

**TheDevil**

Alix Y r u even responding

U arent even here

**Spray n' Skate**

Cause im bored 

**TheDevil**

Ok Adrien just arrived

Alya get into that bathroom

Rose and juleka stop making out

Marinette please domt act like a total idiot

Plan 'Marin' is a go

**12:13pm**

**TheDevil**

I told adrien that Mari got cut when she fell so rip the bottom of her pants a little and sew it back together.

Alya finds something to cover the fake wound with

**TheGothGay**

I got the pants

I am pretty good at sewing 

**HatThief**

I got some wrapping stuff forgot what its called

**FlowerGay**

The makeup is finished shes changing now

**HatThief**

Chloe dont forget to distract kagami

**TheDevil**

I got it 

Is Marin ready yet 

Dont forget the earings 

** HatThief  **

Marin is ready 

Sending her out through back door 

**TheDevil **

She just came in the front door

Kagami time

**1:26pm**

**TheDevil **

It went perfect 

He doesnt suspect that its mari 

**HatThief**

YES

Good

All that work better have been worth it

**Bread &Butter**

Did you guys see the way he looked at me

It was like i was an angle

**Spray n' Skate**

No we didnt see 

We werent there

**SisterEarth **

Sorry i wasnt there 

I was with my dad

**FlowerGay**

I had the most fun beforehand

**TheGothGay **

OMG PLEASE STOP

**FlowerGay **

Never

I love u too much

**Spray n' Skate**

no pda

Gross 

**Bread &Butter **

Alix u sound like a 9yo 

Ew romance gross 

**Spray n' Skate**

Have your romance all you want

Just not in front of me 

Unless youre marc & nath

Those dorks can romance all they want around me

**HatThief**

I wasnt aware u were close with nath or marc

**Spray n' Skate**

Nath is like a brother to me 

Or a brother i like 

My real brother is an idiot

**TheDevil**

Adrien is like a brother to me and i love him 

And i still wouldnt let him romance around me

**Spray n' Skate**

I enjoy their constant embarassed blushing 

It amuses me

**HatThief**

I feel the same way with Mari

**Bread &Butter**

Im glad i can amuse you

**HatThief**

U should be peasant 

Omg i sound like chloe

**TheDevil **

I do not sound like that 

**HatThief**

Yes u do

**Bread &Butter**

U totally do tho

**Spray n' Skate**

100% agreed

**FlowerGay**

Can yall be quiet

We tryin to make out. 

**TheDevil **

Damn just turn off your phones

**__________________________**

**Today**

**3:47pm**

[Direct message between **Ladybug** and **Chat Noir]**

**Chat Noir:** hey Ladybug 

**Ladybug:** ya kitty

**Chat Noir:** what style do i usually have ur hair in? 

**Ladybug:** why?

**Chat Noir:** im curious

**Chat Noir:** im so used to seeing ur pigtails and im curious what u wear irl

**Ladybug:** ok fine 

**Ladybug:** i usually have it up un pigtails or a ponytail

**Chat Noir:** interesting

**Ladybug:**??? 

**Ladybug:** chat? 

**Chat Noir:** i gtg mlady 

**Chat Noir:** see you later 

**Ladybug:** cya kitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is cheating since he is chat noir. If u are confused by what is happening, go read the other fic in this series which goes along with this fic and is the main plot stuff. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed this crack on a Google doc. Bye


	4. Heroes' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carapace is finnaly here and Chloé makes use of her gift from Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined the chapers for Catalyst and Mayura into one chaper since it wouldn't be long enough otherwise
> 
> Enjoy

**2 days ago**

**3:56pm**

[Group Chat **Defenders of Paris** ]

**Rena Rouge:** can we all talk about how simple lbs costume is 

**Rena Rouge:** like its just spotted red spandex 

**Ladybug:** i feel attacked

 **Queen Bee:** lb i love u but ur outfit is horrid

 **Chat Noir:** its pretty bad

 **Ladybug:** chat ur a traitor

 **Ladybug:** im telling mari not to let you in next time

 **Rena Rouge:** whos mari

 **Ladybug:** a girl that chat visits often late at night

 **Queen Bee:** omg please dont tell me ur talking about dupaincheng 

**Chat Noir:** ya thats her

 **Rena Rouge:** y u got a problem with her queenie? 

**Queen Bee:** …

 **Queen Bee:** i have mixed emotions about her

 **Rena Rouge:** mixed feelings?

 **Rena Rouge:** how? Shes an angke

 **Chat Noir:** angke

 **Queen Bee:** shes stupidly perfect

 **Rena Rouge:** shut up chat

 **Rena Rouge:** so basicly your jealous

 **Queen Bee:** what? Hell no!!! 

**Chat Noir:** doubt

 **Rena Rouge:** doubt

 **Queen Bee:** shut up

 **Ladybug:** i feel like this is getting a little too close to identities

 **Queen Bee:** lb is right

 **Queen Bee:** so shut uo 

**Chat Noir:** uo 

**Ladybug:** uo

 **Rena Rouge:** uo

 **Queen Bee:** >:(

 **Ladybug:** anyways back to the costumes 

**Ladybug:** why do yall not like my costume

 **Queen Bee:** did lb just say yall?

 **Rena Rouge:** its so basic!

 **Rena Rouge:** like its just spotted spandex

 **Queen Bee:** you could have done so much better

 **Queen Bee:** also the skin tight suit doesnt leave much to the imagination

 **Rena Rouge:** it shows your flatness to the world

 **Ladybug:** kevmcejv

 **Ladybug:** bitch how dare you!

 **Chat Noir:** how dare you say that about mlady

 **Rena Rouge:** am i wrong? Lb is flat!

 **Ladybug:** you are completly wrong

 **Chat Noir:** i mean… no

 **Chat Noir:** but

 **Ladybug:** excuse you????

 **Ladybug:** chat i will fight you!!!

 **Ladybug:** queenie back me up

 **Queen Bee:** hoe you as flat the floor

 **Ladybug:** EXCUSE YOU BITCH?

 **Ladybug:** im taking all your miraculous

 **Ladybug:** yall dont deserve them after this

 **Rena Rouge:** lmao alright

 **Queen Bee:** i sincerely doubt that 

**Chat Noir:** you have to find me first

 **Ladybug:** ok ill just use the tracking feature

 **Chat Noir:** the what?

 **Ladybug:** you better watch yourself

 **Rena Rouge:** lb got this kitty on a leash

 **Queen Bee:** kinky

 **Chat Noir:** going back to the costume thing

 **Chat Noir:** can we talk about queen bees makeup

 **Queen Bee:** ??? 

**Queen Bee:** what about my makeup? 

**Rena Rouge:** you use alot of makeup

 **Rena Rouge:** like way to much

 **Ladybug:** also alot of it is hidden by your mask

 **Chat Noir:** can confirm, qb uses alot of makeup behind the mask

 **Queen Bee:** my mother taught me that a woman is defined by how much makeup she has on

 **Rena Rouge:** that's some bullshit

 **Chat Noir:** i thought you hated your mom 

**Ladybug:** ^^^

 **Queen Bee:** oh ya I forgot 

**Ladybug:** from now on use less majeup

 **Rena Rouge:** majeup

 **Chat Noir:** majeup

 **Queen Bee:** majeup

 **Ladybug:** >:(

 **Queen Bee:** alright ill try using less makeup 

**______________________**

**Yesterday**

**11:43am**

[Group Chat **Defenders of Paris** ]

**Ladybug:** I hate everything 

**Ladybug:** akuma at eiffel tower

 **Rena Rouge:** omw

 **Ladybug:** um… 

**Ladybug:** u dont have a miraculous rn

 **Rena Rouge:** so? 

**Rena Rouge:** u know who i am

 **Ladybug:** ok whatever 

**Ladybug:** _@Chat Noir_ get your ass over here

 **Chat Noir:** alrighr 

**Chat Noir:** omw

**Today**

**4:32am**

**Rena Rouge:** that was some awesome footage

 **Ladybug:** go to sleep

 **Rena Rouge:** no

 **Ladybug:** whatever

 **Ladybug:** not my problem

**__________________**

**Today**

**11:23am**

**Ladybug:** does anyone else feel kind of embarrassed by all the stuff being done in our honor

 **Chat Noir:** not really

 **Rena Rouge:** i think its awesome

 **Queen Bee:** i wish people knew it was me

 **Ladybug:** …

 **Ladybug:** you guys are hopeless 

**Rena Rouge:** tru

 **Queen Bee:** you picked us

 **Ladybug:** carapace would agree with me

 **Ladybug:** cause hes normal

  
  


**11:56am**

**Queen Bee:** lb are you alright?

 **Queen Bee:** please tell me that all that was fakr 

**Queen Bee:** _@Ladybug_!!! 

**Queen Bee:** RESPOND BITCH

 **Queen Bee:** chat are you alright? 

**Queen Bee:** _@Chat Noir_ pleade respond

 **Queen Bee:** TELL ME YOU GUYS ARE PKAY

 **Queen Bee:** This isnt funny

 **Queen Bee:** there are butterflies ecerywhere

 **Queen Bee:** pleade respind

 **Rena Rouge:** qb are you okay

 **Queen Bee:** who fucking cares aboyt me where are ladybug and chat nour

 **Rena Rouge:** queen… 

**Rena Rouge:** theyre gone

 **Queen Bee:** it musy have been fake

 **Queen Bee:** ladybug would never fall to haqkmoth

 **Rena Rouge:** qb its over

 **Queen Bee:** god damn it

**12:46pm**

**Chat Noir:** qb where are you

 **Chat Noir:** i have your miraculous where are you

 **Chat Noir:** _@Queen Bee_!!!

 **Chat Noir:** please respond

**____________________**

**12:53**

[Direct message between **Queen Bee** and **Chat Noir** ]

**Chat Noir:** hello? 

**Chat Noir:** where are you

{ **Chat Noir** started a call that lasted a few seconds}

**Chat Noir:** RESPOND

**_________________**

**1:13pm**

[Group Chat **Defenders of Paris** ]

**Queen Bee:** where we meeting up at?

[ **Ladybug** has shared her location] 

**Queen Bee:** oh ok then

 **Carapace:** yo what is this

 **Ladybug:** tell you later

**_____________________**

**1:36pm**

[ **Rena Rouge** 's name has been changed to **Rena Rage** ]

[ **Carapace** 's name has been changed to **Shellshock** ]

**_____________________**

**2:02pm**

[ **Rena Rage** 's name has been changed to **Rena Rouge** ]

[ **Shellshock** 's name has been changed to **Carapace** ]

**Rena Rouge:** whats going on

 **Rena Rouge:** oh shit

 **Rena Rouge:** _@Carapace_ to the eiffel tower now

 **Carapace:** ok

**__________________**

**2:34pm**

{ **A_Guy's Android** has successfully paired with ***turtle miraculous*** }

**2:42pm**

**Queen Bee:** oh? 

**Chat Noir:** finally another guy

 **Rena Rouge:** i had to show him how to do it

 **Carapace:** babe dont expose me like that

 **Chat Noir:** so are you two dating

 **Rena Rouge:** yup

 **Carapace:** i hope so

 **Ladybug:** i revealed them to eachother cause they were hiding together and i didnt have time to separate them

 **Queen Bee:** damn guess im the 5th wheel now

 **Ladybug:** loegdbkdd

 **Rena Rouge:** ya pretty much

 **Ladybug:** hold on

 **Ladybug:** what do you mean by that?

 **Queen Bee:** oh please you and chat need to stop messing around and just make out already

 **Ladybug:** WHAT 

**Ladybug:** nonononono

 **Chat Noir:** ladybug has said she likes another guy and i will respect that

 **Carapace:** i respect that

 **Rena Rouge:** no! My ship! 

**Rena Rouge:** ladynoir is sinking! 

**Ladybug:** omg 

**Ladybug:** stop

**__________________**

**3:03pm**

**Adrien**

Hey chlo

Are you alright 

I saw you pass out during the battle today

**Chloé **

Dont play dumb 

I know youre chat noir

**Adrien**

???

What

**Chloé **

Stop

I had my eyes open during the jump into the sewer water 

Which was disgusting and im still agry about it 

**Adrien**

Omg 

**Chloé**

Now i can make fun of you for being a furry

**Adrien**

Omg no please dont

**Chloé**

You jump around Paris in a leather cat suit and flirt with people

How do you go from chill adrien agreste to flirty chat noir

**Adrien**

Idk 

I just do it

**Chloé **

At least now I know why you like ladybug so much

**Adrien**

Oh ya btw

Why did Mari give you kagami's number 

**Chloé**

Oh

Um 

Ya about that

I'm stealing kagami from you

**Adrien**

Wait what???

Explain 

**Chloé**

Somebody just came onto the roof

I gtg

**Adrien**

Chloé come back here and explain

Chlo

Dont hide from me

Explain! 

**___________________**

**4:42pm**

**Chloé**

Hello Kagami

**Kagami**

I do not recognise this number. 

Who is this? 

**Chloé**

It's Chloé Bourgeois 

**Kagami**

How did you get my number?

**Chloé**

Adrien gave it to me 

**Kagami**

I see.

So what do you need from me?

**Chloé**

First stop typing like an old person

Second I wanted to know if you had written anything about me in your little notebook

**Kagami**

Wjat no 

Of coirse nkt. 

**Chloé**

Oh really? 

I feel like youre lying

**Kagami**

I definently have not. 

**Chloé**

Oh thats a shame

So anyways i wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out with me

**Kagami**

Nshck

Wjat? 

**Chloé**

Go out to get some smoothies or something

Since we are both friends with adrien i figured we should get to know each other

**Kagami**

Oh thats what you meant. 

That sounds fun, I accept. 

**Chloé **

Cool 

Date?

**Kagami**

Bsks

Qjat?

**Chloé**

What date should we do it on?

**Kagami**

Oh

The 13th works for me

**Chloé **

So saturday then

Cool

**Kagami**

Is that all?

**Chloé**

Ya thats all

Its a date. 

**Kagami**

Bobf

Excuse you? 

Chloé what dp you meab by thst?

Hello? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some progression for Chlogami and a bit of banter. Perfect. 
> 
> This chaper was very plot heavy, sorry about that. Ima have more crack in these in the future.


End file.
